One year in Norway, quite an unexpected twist. Yet here I am, with little hope of seeing anything greener than fifty shades of white outside my window.
Not long ago, I promised myself that on the day of my Norwegian anniversary, I'd share a link to my website on social media, regardless of its condition. I also promised not to be disheartened if it didn't happen on time.
Spoiler: it didn't. In the process, I even managed to develop a bit of resentment towards this idea. Not because it's a bad one, it's just a tad irritating. It lingered in the shadows for years, and now it resurfaced. The text in the About-section stubbornly refuses to align within the block width, and crafting an article in one go is an impossible feat. I end up gestating them for weeks, as if life lacks complexity without this.
For over a year, I've been outside my comfort zone. I feel like a juggler walking over a burning abyss: an unknown island lies ahead, and the only familiar ground offering any guarantees is down there. The prospect of falling or remaining stagnant terrifies me, so I keep moving forward.
Step by step, avoiding a plunge and refraining from breaking my legs in an attempt to reach the island in a single leap.
The irony is that I've only recently noticed how existence in this new place is slowly taking on the contours of life. I keep making decisions, occasionally despising them, but I appreciate genres like love-hate and hurt-comfort for a reason. Suffering and hatred aren't the main characters in the narrative, their task is to highlight genuinely important things. That's the enduring pattern with anything that carried a significant meaning for me.
During the creation of my best works, I always crossed that threshold where the text or drawing made me nauseous. But the pride I felt afterward is beyond all description. Baking, decorating, and photography required significant investments of time, money, and effort. My legs wobbled, and my back begged for mercy, yet my fondest memories are associated with the kitchen. When working on designs for role-playing forums, I didn't sleep, banged my head against the wall, cursed everything under the sun, but deep down, I derived incredible pleasure from it.
Yes, the outcome often strayed from the initial vision in my mind. I kept discovering flaws, but at some point, I decided to embrace them. I no longer concerned myself with others' opinions because I was content with the work. I knew I had given it my all; I knew that next time, I would strive to improve, and that was sufficient.
I have no clue what will emerge from this project. There's a strong likelihood I'll abandon it after the initial article, or I won't have sufficient time to update the content as regularly as I'd prefer. There's also the chance that I'll find enjoyment in it, prompting a reconsideration of my priorities in favor of this blog. Life will unfold. It's evolving notably swiftly now, even during moments that appear deceptively stagnant.
The island up ahead is shaping up, but deep down, I know that after it, there's a new tightrope and other things that will either add to or replace what I already have. No promises that I'll fancy this stop, but I'll give it a shot anyway.